I already have two blogs, both of which I neglect heartily. I don't think I've actually posted anything on my MySpace in months, and my LJ often languishes wistfully for weeks, even though I check my friends list over there daily. (More like two or three times a day, sometimes more, actually.)
This one is here because I want to post about specific things, mostly about Roman Catholicism. (Sorry, Orthodox never appealed to me...) I just finished most of the research regarding a new writing project that has Roman Catholics as the main characters, and I am once again being drawn to Holy Mother Church. However, conversion is not an option for me at this time.
My husband is a fierce Protestant, and even though I have explained the intercession of the saints and he does agree with me that the Blessed Mother deserves more attention than she currently receives in the Protestant Church, he will not agree to my conversion. He thinks it a holdover from my days as a Wiccan, that I am drawn to the fact that a female figure is very central to the belief system and to the ritualism of the Mass.
I agree that there's a lot more to the ritual of the Mass than there is to the usual Protestant service, and that I like that quite a lot, and I acknowledge reasons for him to be concerned regarding my honoring Mary, in light of my past, but he doesn't understand that I have been Catholic curious since I was a very young child.
He works nights, and while he's at work, I say my rosary (I got a free one from Holy Cross Family Ministries, go here if you want to get one or donate to them:http://www.familyrosary.org/main/rosary-rosaries.php ) or I can watch or listen to EWTN on TV or here, on the computer, I can listen to their radio. I just finished reading a biography of Mother Angelica, which was very enlightening.
I asked him, a few years ago, if he would mind if I converted, and I was told that I could do whatever I wanted, but that he would not consent to my taking his children to church with me. Wow, how open-minded.
He's a good provider, a wonderful husband, except in this one area.
So, the main reason this blog is up is so I can communicate with other like-minded individuals, and learn about the Church, and make friends.
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3 comments:
I will keep you in my prayers.
One thing to remember, however...your conversion has nothing to do with your husband's permission. While it is helpful for a spouse to be "on board", the Lord is a higher authority and so trumps anything your husband says.
Now, that said, I'm not suggesting acting in a reckless manner. It seems you are doing all you can; keep doing it. Offer your prayers and your sufferings on his behalf, and entrust him to Our Lady.
It often happens that one family member converts, against ALL of their wishes...and then they follow.
In Catholic belief, in marriage the two become one, and of course, we often say that we want to marry those who will drag us kicking and screaming into Heaven.
Don't let it be the other way around.
You are in my prayers. I have a special devotion to Our Lady of Perpetual Help. In a lot of monastic traditions, the Sisters would write their intentions on a piece of paper and attach it to the statue or icon of the Saint whose intercession they are requesting. That way, although they do not forget their prayer, it is a physical manifestation of the prayer request, and all in accordance with God's will.
St. Therese, in "A Story of a Soul" cites this practice as she talks about having to dust in the chapel. The statue of St. Joseph was so off-balance due to all the petetions stuffed underneath it!
So I am writing down your name and intentions for assistance in your own true conversion as well as your husband's.
It's not my job to convert you or anyone else, and it's actually not your job to even convert your husband, just as it is not his place to prevent you from following where the Lord is leading you.
But it could be that it's not the right time. See if you can talk him into going to RCIA classes with you or something. They are there both for information for those wishing to learn more about the Church, and for those who ARE converting. It's a no-pressure thing; the message is not tailored.
Also, if you have a local parish with a Perpetual Adoration chapel, go there and pray for your husband, for his heart to soften.
Remember; this is God's territory, and only He is in charge of changing hearts and conversion.
God bless you!
Thank you very much, Adoro. The main problem is that I don't drive, (don't ask, long story) so my going to RCIA or Adoration is practically impossible.
(There are, however, online adoration sites now; I don't know if they really count though.)
So for right now, I am going to keep on keeping on, and eventually, things will change. God works even when we can't see it, and I am faithful that He hears us.
Thank you very much for your encouragement, and your prayers.
God bless you as well.
Badger
Hi Badger!
Adoro made many good points, but then she always does!
I am interested in your comment that you are "drawn to the fact that a female figure is very central to the belief system and to the ritualism of the Mass."
Can you expand on that?
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